Fix the problem, not the blame! // Positively Speaking // Mark Wilson

Fix the problem, not the blame!

The great UCLA basketball coach, John Wooden, observed, “No one is defeated until he starts blaming someone else.”

Oh, how easy it is to blame others for our own failures, our faults, and our sufferings.

Often, however, blaming is a smokescreen that hides the truth. When we’re pointing a finger at another, there are three fingers pointing back at us!

When we play the “blame game”, we weasel out of dealing with our own shortcomings. Why go through the pain of personal growth when you can shift the criticism to a handy scapegoat?

Following the forgiveness path requires a cease-fire in the “blaming” department.

My friend, Charlie Groth Olson, once shared the following twelve-step plan to quit blaming and start forgiving:

1. Make a list.
2. Face your feelings.
3. Face the cross.
4. Choose to carry your cross.
5. Choose to forgive.
6. Say it out loud.
7. Destroy the list.
8. Do not expect others to change.
9. Do expect yourself to change.
10. Try to understand what happened.
11. Thank God.
12. Accept your part of the blame.

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