“Marriage Check Up” // Positively Speaking // Mark Wilson

wedding rings

“A man and a woman should choose each other for life, said Dr. George Truett, “for the simple reason that a long life is barely enough time for them to understand each other – and to understand is to love.”

Understanding is the key to true love and intimacy.

Although it is a process, you can deepen and develop your relationship along the way. Sometimes, along the path, it’s good to stop and evaluate how you’re doing as a couple.

Good maintenance prevents major breakdowns.  Here are a few reflection questions to help you maintain a healthy marriage:

How can I best serve my partner?
Am I a good listener?
Do I really hear what my partner is saying, or am I busy thinking about how I am going to respond?
Can we disagree agreeably? If not, what is it that causes us to argue?
Do I know what really pleases my partner? Am I pursuing this?
Do I know what things really annoy my partner? Have I been doing them?
What are my dreams and hopes for our marriage?  What are yours?
How do we express our spirituality as a couple? Are we satisfied with the present level of spiritual commitment?
What are we not doing that we ought to be doing?
What would it take to start doing it?
Have I been completely honest with my partner? About the past? About how I am feeling? About my activities?
Are there any roadblocks to emotional intimacy in our marriage? Do we know what they are? Do we know how to get rid of them?
Have I been making selfish demands?
How have I caused my partner unnecessary pain?
Am I willing to change?
Do we agree on money issues? What can we learn from each other in this area?
Is there something wrong that needs to be confronted?
Is there something good that needs to be celebrated?
Do I need to take more responsibility for creating a healthy and happy home?
Am I willing to forgive?
Am I willing to deal with issues, rather than attacking or sulking in silence?
What three things can I do which would bring great joy to my partner?

 

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